Category Archives: Youth Ministry

3 WAYS TO INVEST IN THE MOST ANXIOUS GENERATION

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No one seems able to agree about the exact dates for Generation Z. The youngest members may have been born in 1995 and the last in 2012. We’ll find out more about them in the next couple of years as additional research explores this group.

As we strive to reach this generation, we must understand its members as well as we can.

Two key markers of Generation Z.

  • Most of Generation Z sees the world as a scary place. They may not have been born when 9/11 took place, but their parents and others have made the event a part of their lives and insecurities. Many have been parented out of fear. (“How to Raise an Adult,” Lythcott-Haims)
  • From this, we can also conclude that Generation Z is the most anxious generation, or “melatonin generation,” since melatonin is its drug of choice. The anxiety of those in this age group makes sleeping difficult. And their lack of sleep affects their emotions and decision-making.

As we seek to invest in the members of Generation Z, we must consider how to create safe spaces for them physically, emotionally, relationally and spiritually. Here are a few tips on how to engage an anxious young person in meaningful conversation.

3 Ways To Invest In Gen Z

Lead with listening.

When someone says they are worried, overwhelmed or afraid, we may feel the desire to fix the perceived problem. With all good intentions, we offer phrases like, “At least …” or “The good thing is …” This minimizes the other person’s feelings and will often shut down the conversation.

Resist the urge to use your words to try to improve their situation. Instead, ask questions and listen. Sitting with them and identifying with their emotions can have a powerful impact. If a young person tells you, “I’m stressed out about getting good grades,” ask clarifying questions: “Do you find studying a challenge?” “What kind of grades do you want to get?”

Once you better understand the situation, ask questions that enable them to explore how they feel. Sample questions include: “When do you find yourself most stressed about your grades?” “Why do you think grades cause you to be so stressed out?” “When it comes to your grades, what do you fear most?” “When you get worried about your grades, what thoughts run through your head?”

Give them permission.

Giving them permission to feel as they do will help them relax and feel understood and validated. You might say, “That is stressful.” “I understand why you feel overwhelmed.” “I imagine that kind of pressure is hard to handle.”

Help them navigate their feelings.

Invite them into a brainstorming journey with the phrase, “I wonder …” When we use this phrase, we invite active participation. “I wonder what would help you feel less stressed.” “I wonder what things you enjoy doing that help you relax or distract you from feeling overwhelmed.” “I wonder if tutoring would help you.” “I wonder if talking with your parents about the pressure you are feeling would help.” “I wonder how your parents would respond.” One of the best gifts we can give Generation Z is not great advice but walking with them through tough situations.

Talk less. Listen more. Journeying alongside them will help them feel valued and loved, and it will increase their skill set for navigating life’s difficulties.

Kirsten Knox, Senior Director of Ministry Partnerships

Kirsten Knox is the Executive Director of Youth Ministry Institute. Kirsten was part of the second class to complete the Youth Ministry Institute two-year coaching and training class in 2009. She has since been a coach on multiple occasions. Kirsten Knox is married and a graduate of Asbury University with a degree in youth ministry.  She began working in youth ministry in 2000, serving Pasadena Community United Methodist Church for a decade and still ministers to young people at Radius Church in St. Petersburg, FL. Click the social links below to engage with Kirsten.

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WHY AND HOW TO BEGIN A YOUTH PASTOR NETWORK

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You are a rare breed. Not many people would give up their Saturday to spend it with middle school students, especially when a student tries to give you a muddy hug after they have whizzed down the giant slip-n-slide!

You see, youth ministry seems a little off. Most people lack an understanding of what we do. It seems ludicrous to many of our more civilized adult friends. 

As a person of a rare breed, you need to develop a community with people who get “it.” After all, do you expect your lawyer friend to understand Noodle Hockey?

When you need community with others of an uncommon breed, find a youth pastor network. If there isn’t one around you, start one! If you don’t know where to begin, here are some thoughts.

HOW TO START A YOUTH PASTOR NETWORK

Don’t ask for permission. 

As Bob Goff says in his book Love Does, too often we wait for others to give us permission. 

Say this out loud, “I do not need permission to start a youth pastor network.” 

Feel better?

Don’t wait for someone else. The only qualifications for this role are that you are part of the rare breed, and you desire community with others.

Geographical location may matter the most.

You can create your network around anything. You may start a group based on denominations, experience level, gender, or even convenience. 

Any of these would work well, but I believe the best thing to build your network around is your geographical location. 

When you are near each other, everyone will be more likely to attend often and consistently. Closeness allows you to develop connections with people near you, who are outside of your church. 

Commit to who you already have.

Start with one or two people that you already know. You may not know many people to join your network, but you may know a few. Start with them.

The size of the network does not indicate quality. Start small and be consistent with your group.

Make the calls or send the e-mails.

Without work, you cannot expect people to show up to your group. You and your early members need to start by doing some groundwork. 

Look up the websites of churches in your area and find the staff page. Send e-mails or make phone calls to any youth pastor you can find.

You may only get a few responses, but remember, size does not indicate quality. And know this, recruiting for your group will be a constant for your group. 

Encourage a culture of recruitment in your group.

Recruiting for your network never stops. People move in and out of roles. Someone who is part of your group this year may be at a different church next year.

Recruitment for your group should never stop and should become a goal of all members of the network.

YOU NEED A NETWORK

Friends, you need a network of people who understand you. You need a group of people who can challenge you and encourage you. We all need people who get us, care for us, and give us a place to not be “on” the job. 

So go out and find your network. If one doesn’t exist, start one. I believe you can do this and am excited for you to begin.

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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FINDING YOUR WAY WHEN YOU FEEL LOST AND DEFEATED IN MINISTRY

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Regardless of how you got into youth ministry, I think there is one thing you and I have in common.

We began in ministry because we love Jesus. In your life, you’ve had some encounter, experience, or insight that made it clear to you that Jesus will always be the G.O.A.T. (Does anyone say G.O.A.T.?)

Unfortunately, you and I often forget something important, and our perspective becomes blurred. What do I mean?

Our first day of ministry sounds like this, “I am here because I love Jesus.” 

Our following days of ministry sound more like this, “I am loved by Jesus if I succeed in this ministry.”

Now, I know. You would not verbalize that phrase- at least not out loud.

Friends, I know this feeling. You know this feeling. We both know what this looks like in our lives.

When you have a conversation with another youth pastor, and their success does something within you. You feel inferior or envious. Maybe you wonder why you haven’t had the same sort of success.

You feel the need to brag, not merely because you are excited, but because you need others to see how good you are at youth ministry.

When you work all the time and cannot put away your thoughts about ministry- because it is who you are. The youth pastor identity has taken over all of your life.

Or maybe it looks like you, feeling deflated when twenty-five students show up instead of thirty.

A trusted student doesn’t’ follow-through with their commitment. Yes, you are frustrated; they should keep their commitment. But you feel something stronger. It feels personal.

You begin to take it all personally. You question your validity as a youth pastor or volunteer. 

Eventually, you and I, we fall into the trap of questioning our value. Suddenly the spiral begins, and our thoughts sound like this: 

Students don’t show up. Leaders don’t volunteer. Our group is not as large as their group. I wish we had a band. My preaching must not be good enough. I must not be good enough. If they are doing such great things for Jesus, and I am not, then I must not be enough for Jesus.

Friends, we fall into this trap far too often. I have had my moments in that place. I am sure you have had moments of these experiences. Our head knows that Jesus loves us regardless of our success in ministry, but our hearts forget.

Jesus has not called you or asked you into a life of forgetting that first; you are a beloved child of God.

How do we get out of this place? How do you get back to remembering why you got into ministry in the first place? 

A few thoughts that may be of help to you.

Put it away. 

Ministry needs to stay, as much as possible, out of your house and family.

When you leave the church, say a prayer. Your prayer could be something like this.

“God, I’m leaving this here and trusting you. I am trusting you to continue your work as I go home. I am going to leave everything here so I can be fully present with my family.”

Yes, there are times you will need to address ministry needs at home. But make that the exception.

Give your spiritual life room to breath. 

We know this, our prep time for teaching often becomes the full extent of our spiritual development.

You can do this for a little while. Eventually though, if you are not filling your spiritual gas tank, it will run on empty.

Make room for your spiritual development. Prioritize it. Manage your schedule well so that you can make time. 

You may even want to block off time on your calendar. If someone wants to meet with you, say, “I’m sorry, I am unavailable during that time. Can we try another time?” 

Do not apologize and do not feel guilty for creating time for your spiritual development.

Seek out a counselor. 

When you find yourself in a place that you forget who you are, you may need the help of a guide.

I strongly recommend a trained, Christian counselor. If that is not an option for you, find a friend. A trusted friend that you can explore what you are feeling. 

Seeking the advice of a counselor can refresh you, remind you of what matters, and give you a renewed sense of value.

There are many other ways to find your way back to who you truly are. Read. The book, Life of the Beloved may be an excellent place to start. Journal. Pray constantly. Go on a retreat or take a sabbatical.

Friends, your identity is not in what you produce in ministry. You are meant for more than that kind of shallow living. 

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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5 LEADERS YOU NEED ON YOUR TEAM

5 Leaders You Need On Your Team
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You know that you need a team of leaders. To get this team, you will have to recruit people. It is probably not too far of a stretch to think that you want your team to be a strong team.

So you need a team, and you want quality leaders. I wonder, though, have you ever considered what type of leaders you need?

If you take some time to think about the type of leaders you need, your recruitment efforts have focus. By defining the kind of leader you are seeking, you can be more focused in your search and your ask.

So here is a list of five types of people you may want to add to your team.

The Writer.

You know the feeling that you experience when an Amazon package arrives. Or really when you receive anything other than a bill! Students are the same.

I once had a writer that sent the best notes. Her cards and letters made you feel as though you were the most important person in the world!

Students love cards. Cards remind them that they matter. Cards speak of belonging. Cards tell students that you love them even when they are not at church.

Find someone who will handwrite cards and mail them to your new students, your missing students, for special occasions and even just random notes to students. The best part, your writer could be a retiree or someone who cannot volunteer during your regular youth gatherings.

The Energizer.

Student gatherings need some level of positive energy. Some would call this the “craziness” factor.

Some of us are full of energy, and others are not. That is when we call up the volunteer full of energy. You know this volunteer. It is the person that can make any game exciting. It is the leader that will get the wave going. Or the volunteer that shouts louder than your youth room music when they see a student walk in the room.

The energizer volunteer matters. They bring joy and excitement to the room. These volunteers help you create an environment that feels full of life and vitality- students crave these sort of places.

The Organizer.

Some of you know you need this volunteer. You struggle maintaining medical forms, or an accurate database of your students. You love teaching, preaching, or games, but you can’t stand the thought of organizing music folders.

The organizer helps to keep you on track, makes your team and ministry run better, and helps your ministry gain trustworthiness from parents.

The Risk Manager.

Yes, those of us in youth ministry need to be concerned about safety. I once had a team member who worked in risk management for major corporations. He was a great leader and asset to the team.

Risk managers help you consider things you may not have otherwise. They also help keep you safe, your team safe, and any student safe who participate in your program. You may not have thought of this, but the risk manager can keep you and your ministry moving forward in the healthiest way possible.

The Musical One.

For some of you, this one is obvious. You may not have any training or musical ability, so of course, you would want someone to help your students worship through music.

Or are you the person who already can play the guitar, piano, or even didgeridoo? You may be able to help students explore their gifting in music. The question is, should you?

Just because you can, does not mean you should.

Finding a musically talented leader allows students to have an additional adult speaking into their life. This leader will also make it possible for you to be in other places, focusing on other vital aspects of ministry.

Finally, giving away things always makes you, your team, and ministry stronger.

You may need one, two, three, or even all of these leaders on your team. You may also have ideas about other types of leaders that you need. Regardless, you need a team. Teams make you and your ministry healthier and stronger.

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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YOU MAY BE YOUR MINISTRY’S WORST ENEMY

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You could possibly be the worst enemy of your youth ministry, volunteer team, and students. As leaders, this is never something you dream to be, but it does happen.

Certainly, at times you might beat yourself up when you’ve made a mistake, but it isn’t the norm. At least I hope not! I’m talking about something much deeper than the occasional mistake.

You see I think there is a way that we sabotage the ministry we serve, and often we do not realize the error of our way.

So how are we the enemy of our youth ministry? What makes us that way? And how do we stop it?

How We Become Our Ministry’s Own Worst Enemy

We Fail To Give Away The Ministry 

You know what this looks like. You are running at full speed, doing everything on your own.

All questions are directed your way because no one else knows the answers. Maybe you have small groups, but not many of them. Maybe you don’t even have small groups! There are never enough hours in the day to accomplish everything on your list- but you know Wednesday or Sunday is coming!

Have you ever shared the teaching platform with someone else? Has anyone else seen the full roster of students? Or can a volunteer create your slides? If you were not there, could the ministry operate without you?

I think there are many reasons why we fail to give away the ministry.

Ego Or Identity Problem. 

We want the ministry and people to need us. It feels good to feel needed. So we intentionally or unintentionally hold the keys to everything. We do not take the time to train people. We do not give others opportunities to learn, grow, and lead.

We Are Afraid To Ask People

We may also be afraid to ask people, after all, we do not want to overburden them. Yet I would challenge you to consider this- what if God or that leader had never invited or asked you to participate in youth ministry?

Asking people to join, support, or try something new is about giving them the opportunity. It is about giving them what may be a gift. It is about believing in them. I am thankful for the many people who have believed in me over the years- as I hope you have the same experience.

A Matter Of Timing

Occasionally it is a matter of timing. Yes, if you are new to a ministry or struggling to get started, it may take you a little longer to train and teach others. Yet, at the top of your list should be the idea of recruiting a team and giving pieces away as soon as possible.

The best way to begin becoming a supporter, a friend, a leader of your youth ministry is to identify why, and then begin the process of letting go.

Identify why. Why have you not been giving pieces away?

Is there a pride or identity issue that needs to be worked out? Maybe you need a group of friends, colleagues, or a trained counselor to help you wrestle through this with you. Possibly you need to spend time in Scripture rediscovering where your true value comes from.

You may need to reframe your understanding of the ask. Yes, you could overburden someone. But, you may also help someone discover more about themselves than they ever thought possible. Give the gift of opportunity and development to someone else.

The truth at the core is this- the youth ministry is far bigger than you. God’s Kingdom is larger than any one person. Youth ministry done well is a ministry that has many key people, leaders, and students.

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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