Category Archives: Youth Ministry

Nine Christmas Party Games For Youth Or Kid’s Ministry

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It’s that time of year. You’re getting ready for your Christmas party. You want it to be engaging, fun, and a time your people will remember. So, of course, you need Christmas party games.

We love Christmas – as I hope we all do! And at the Youth Ministry Institute, we are busy preparing for parties in our ministries. This got us thinking that you may be looking for games for your Christmas party.

To help you out, here is a list of a few Christmas games you want to try. So whether you work with students, children, young adults, or older adults, we think one or all of these games will work for you! 

Nine Christmas Party Games

HUMAN CHRISTMAS TREE

This game is simple but can be fun and give you some great photo opportunities.

Give each group ornaments (we recommend string or yarn to help hang the ornaments), Christmas lights, garland, and a star. Each group will choose one person to be their tree. Do you have small groups? Maybe consider making the tree one of your small group leaders.

Once a person is chosen to be the tree, ask them to make their best tree pose. Give the group a time limit and let them start decorating their tree. Once time is up, give awards for things like: most original, most accurate to a Christmas tree, craziest, smelliest, scariest, and most angelic. Have fun and get creative with your categories!

HUMAN CHRISTMAS PRESENT

You play this game just like Human Christmas Tree. The only difference is that people are wrapped up like presents. Give your groups wrapping paper and other Christmas gift-wrapping items. 

ICE CREAM SNOWMAN

You’ll want several tubs of vanilla ice cream in this game. You will give each team two or three scoops of ice cream (you may want to pre-scoop these and put them back in the freezer to prepare). You’ll also want baby carrots, twigs, buttons, raisins, and anything else you might want on a snowman. 

When you say go, each team will create its own ice cream snowman. Unlike Olaf, these snowmen do not have Elsa’s powers to keep them from melting. The winner is the snowman that stays together the best.

SNOWBALL FIGHT OF TRUTHS

Give everyone two or three pieces of paper. Ask each person to write one fact about themselves on each piece of paper. Afterward, ask them to crumple the paper into a ball. Your group will use these papers for a three-minute snowball fight.

After all the papers are crumpled, say go and watch the madness unfold. Let them battle it out with the snowballs until three minutes have passed. Once time is up, ask them each to pick up two or three snowballs (whatever the number you had them make in the beginning). Then give each person a chance to guess who the fact is about on their snowballs.

GREAT (MINISTRY NAME) CHRISTMAS BAKE-OFF

With so many people getting into the bake-off shows, this may be perfect for your group. We recommend you break young people into teams or 2-3 or do this with your small groups. Give the groups a spending limit and encourage them to create culinary masterpieces.

Have them make their masterpieces ahead of time and bring them to your party. Let groups share their creation, inspiration, and passions for their craft. Give prizes for overall appeal, creativity, presentation, taste, and most extraordinary effort. Be sure to have judges willing to eat whatever is in front of them – because who knows what you’ll get!

ORNAMENT RACES

In this game, you will create starting and finish lines (around 12 feet apart). Gather a bulb or other spherical Christmas ornament for each group. Remove the hook and give it to each group. Next, give each group a paper plate and a straw. Have each group place their bulb at the starting line.

When you tell the groups to go, they must fan or blow the ornament across the finish line. They cannot touch the ornament with any part of their body. Consider doing this as a relay or timed match if space is an issue.

SING US A CAROL

Create a list of famous words from well-known Christmas Carols. You want easy and difficult words. Give the groups a word, such as “joy.” The first person to stand up and say (or sing) a line from a Christmas carol that uses the word joy gets the point. Want to make it more difficult? Make sure they say at least seven words from the song. And why not have them sing it with Christmas cheer for all the world to hear?

CAN YOU HEAR THAT?

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Place jingle bells in boxes of different sizes. Put three bells in one box, six in another, and so on for as many boxes as you’d like. Let young people shake the boxes to guess how many bells are in the box.

CHRISTMAS SONG KARAOKE

Print up a list of Christmas songs that your group may know. Let them pick a song they know, give them a mic, and let them sing their heart out! You can look up Christmas Carol Karaoke on Youtube if you want videos with lyrics.

Final Helpful Thoughts

White Elephant Gift Exchanges

Avoid white elephant gift exchanges. I would avoid gift exchanges entirely. You never really know who will show up, and you could put an undue financial burden on a family. And my experience with the white elephant exchange has shown me that someone often gets upset (if you watch the Office, you know what I mean!)

Communicate Ahead Of Time And Often

Second, communicate ahead of time. If there is any possibility of people getting messy or needing to bring something, share that as early as possible. And you will want to communicate it as often as possible. Listen, I’m that terrible parent that won’t remember – so help us out by telling us ten times.

“Ugly Sweaters”

I know ugly Christmas sweaters can be fun. But I learned from experience that one person’s ugly sweater is another person’s favorite sweater. Thankfully I was able to apologize to the person about their favorite sweater! So be careful with your words. 

Don’t Talk About Bruno

Okay, you can talk about Bruno if you want. But don’t be the one who accidentally tells a young person about Santa. It is best to stay away from the topic.

Relax And Enjoy Yourself

Finally, have fun. Enjoy yourself. You’ve probably worked hard this fall. Your young people have had long semesters at school, and your volunteers have given a lot. Don’t be over-spiritual. Let everyone enjoy being together. And don’t forget to show appreciation to your volunteers – give them a mug, cool socks, or a gift card to their favorite place.

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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Ministry Amidst Loss & Grief

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Loss is a part of life. Whether it’s a pet, a family member, or a friend, we may find ourselves mourning someone we love while at the same time dealing with ministry responsibilities that need our attention. Being able to carry on in ministry amidst having to face loss and grief may seem impossible.

Sometimes, we have time to prepare ourselves for a loss. When I was a full-time Family Ministries Director, my 46 year old brother died after 3 long years with esophageal cancer. Our family had those years to consider his passing and then weeks to sit beside him, making his last days full of love and comfort. Other times, it’s an unpredictable, shocking event, as when our family had to help our beloved greyhound pass with only hours to prepare. When faced with grief, what things should we try to remember while it feels like our personal world stops and the rest of it keeps going?

Remember That There’s No Way Over, Only Through

“You’ll get over it soon.” 
“I’m surprised you’re still so sad, it’s been 6 months!”

With grief, there simply isn’t an end or an over. While the sharpness and weight of our loss may lessen, we will always miss the presence of who we’re grieving. Remembering that grief is necessary is important.

“Grieving is like breathing, but we act like we have to hold our breath – It’s a natural process and if you pretend like you don’t have to do it or that it doesn’t exist, you’ll end up choking or passing out.”

– Dr. Shatavia Alexander Thomas, AZ Therapist

Gently remind people who say well-intentioned phrases like the ones above that grief lingers because love lasts. Grief is individual yet universal – meaning we all experience it, but each in our own way. Additionally, mourning is not a set process. You may have heard of the 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance; but most people don’t travel those steps in one straight line. We might traverse up and down those stages every other hour. All of this is normal and natural.

Remember To Let Others In

In your ministry role, it will be helpful to share your situation with trusted supervisors, co-workers, volunteers, and others. Doing this will help them understand that you’re entering a healing process. We don’t want to place a burden on students to manage our emotional reactions. In some cases, it’s absolutely appropriate to be vulnerable about the loss you’ve experienced, how it’s affected you, and the support you’re surrounded by. The young people in your ministry may surprise you with their compassion. You’ll also show them that we don’t have to carry our hardest moments alone. If people want to bring you dinner, cut your grass, take your kids to the park, or sit with you and look at photos of your loved one while you cry, say yes.

Remember To Get The Help You Need

Getting help might mean you delegate more ministry tasks than usual, or that you ask your volunteers and/or other staff to take over the heavy lifting. You could also consider keeping the ministry schedule temporarily light when you return to work. It may be helpful to allow your energy and focus to have some breathing room. Help can also take the form of seeking counseling in order to manage and express your emotions in a healing way.

I spoke with Emily Edwards, LCSW, (who was once a youth minister herself!), and she described what she and other mental health professionals see in their clients. “Many of us in the helping professions have carried grief with hurting people in our ministries. Our empathy for others can give us secondary trauma that will intensify our own grief events.” When this happens, we can move from Acute Grief – the time just following our own loss – into Complicated Grief. This phase is when our acute symptoms never seem to lessen or go away. A licensed therapist, counselor or psychologist can help us process the grieving journey into what is called Integrated Grief. This is a life-long stage in which a grieving person is dealing with the reality of their loss, and can cope with daily life. Be encouraged that seeking outside help with your grief is not a sign of weakness. It’s a strength that you trust in God and allow God’s people to help you.

Remember That Simultaneous Grief And Ministry Is Biblical

Who better to give us a practical example of ministry amidst loss and grief than Jesus, himself? In John 11 we learn about some dear friends of his, the siblings Mary, Martha, and Lazarus. When Lazarus dies, the sisters both approach Jesus and express their faithful expectations that if Jesus had only been nearer, their brother would not have died. Jesus grieves, comforts, and weeps with them, along with demonstrating his ministry and love by then raising Lazarus to life.

We may never be expected to resurrect a friend while we’re grieving. But it’s reassuring that even while we are mourning and it feels as if life is over, we still possess and can use the gifts God has given us in ministry.

Maresi Brown is the Administrator, Registrar, & Interview Specialist for Youth Ministry Institute. She spent nearly 20 years in ministry to young people and families at a United Methodist Church. Maresi is an avid knitter and resides in St. Petersburg, FL, with her husband, 3 kids, and Roo, the most adorable baby dog.

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Preparing For A Successful Year – Four Tips

Preparing For A Successful Year
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All around the country, folks are preparing for a successful new year of school. Buses are running their practice routes, schools are hosting open houses, and schedule change requests are pouring into guidance counselors.

A lot of action goes on at the beginning of the school year. And the same is true for us in ministry. Before we lose focus in the busyness, let’s get prepared.

You can start preparing for a successful year with these four tips.

Have a plan to communicate with parents.

How you communicate with the parents of young people in your ministry will often make or break their attendance. 

Consider how you will communicate your top-level announcements, such as when your Fall Retreat will occur. Top-level announcements can be shared via a printed calendar (for the entire Fall/Winter season), through monthly parent e-mails, in your church bulletin, or website. Top-level announcements contain information that individuals can use to make a decision about participation. For instance they can look at the retreat dates and decide if it works with their schedule.

Mid-level announcements get more specific. These announcements are audience focused. Mid-level may be the details of the Fall Retreat. Where will drop-off and pickup occur? How much spending money should their child bring? This information can go out in newsletters, but you will also want to communicate this information more directly to those participating in the activity.

Quick announcements are the final kind to consider. These are the announcements used to encourage last-minute participation or temporary changes to plans. Text messaging, social media, or phone calls are often the best mediums for this type of communication. Do you have a text message system or a way of collecting their phone numbers? Will you put young people on this text list also?

Create excitement for the mission within your volunteer team.

An old saying is, “Mission is like a balloon with a slow leak.” I have found this to be true. 

To help your team refocus around your mission, spend time together to go over the mission. But don’t just say the mission – make a game out of it. Write the mission statement on paper and cut it like a jigsaw puzzle. See how quickly volunteers can put the mission back together. Then, help them see a practical example of what it looks like for them to live out that mission in your ministry. Get them excited and involved in preparing for a successful year by actively honing in on the mission.

Engage with young people who are leaders.

Whether you call them student leaders or not, there are young people in your ministry that influence others. It may be a natural ability they have or respect given to them by their peers. Whatever the source is, build a relationship with them and help them see what you hope the ministry will look like this year.

For example, if one of these influencers buys into the idea of your ministry being a place where every person has a friend, they will help make that happen when they see a new person. They will either befriend the new person or encourage others to do the task. The quickest way to culture change in your ministry is through young people, not adults

Have a game plan for your spiritual, emotional, mental, and physical health.

I had a history of being one of the worst at caring for myself. I would get excited and ready to make a significant impact in the next season of ministry. So what would happen? I quickly forget about myself, leading to exhaustion and near burnout by the end of the season.

Over time I discovered that making a plan based on the season was helpful to me. For instance, I may say that I will intentionally schedule extra meetings for the next three months with people that refuel me. Or I may take a season of planning spare time to listen to podcasts. I always found mowing my yard was a good time for these podcasts. Whatever it may be, preparing for a successful year has to include a plan of how to take care of yourself in the next season. Be creative, have fun, and make it something enjoyable to you. Your health directly impacts those you serve.

I hope these spur on ideas on how you can have a great season of ministry this Fall. At Youth Ministry Institute, we are always rooting for you!

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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After The Program: What’s Next?

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For many of us, VBS 2023 is over. We’ve loved seeing volunteers serve, loads of kids on campus, and many new faces. But I have to ask you, is it actually over? What’s next?

Whether you held a VBS, summer camp, or another outreach-oriented event this summer, the program’s conclusion is not the end. Now, I know you are tired. Your team is exhausted and ready to rest. So why would I tell you that your work is not finished? 

What you do after the program is as important, or even more than, the program itself.

You’ve had great encounters with new people, and you hope they walk away knowing the love of Jesus. Additionally, you probably also desire to see them again in your regular ministry gatherings. The work you do after the outreach event is what can help fulfill these hopes.

A few key ways you can do good work after VBS or other outreach events.

After the program: Consider personal encounters. 

How a person feels when interacting with you can make a big difference in whether they want to spend more time with you.

My kids participated in a VBS this week. Teenagers led their groups. This setup is common; you may even use this setup. When groups are set up this way, those children spend significant time with teenagers. They get to know them and look forward to seeing them the next day.

If this describes your setting, consider asking the group leaders (or any volunteer) who have spent time with the children to send personalized cards. You could even include a photo of the group leader with the child.

Why do this?

The goal here is to cultivate the relationship built and remind the young person that someone at your church knows and cares for them.

Curt Thompson says, “We all are born into the world looking for someone looking for us.” The same is true about any human being that participates in your programs. So make an extra effort to help them feel seen on and off campus. 

After the program, connect present experiences to the future.

You likely had a great time at your event. You may have had a song that was a big hit or a fun character on stage. Perhaps the young people went crazy over a game you played. These present experiences are excellent opportunities for the future.

So was there a particular activity, game, or character from your outreach that everyone loved? If so, communicate to those who attended your event that this beloved element will be at your next gathering. Connecting what they loved with what you will be doing next extends the present experience into the future.

A little side note, do not overuse that thing they loved. The saying, “leave them wanting more,” is true in this situation. If you play that unique game every week, it will quickly lose the uniqueness factor.

Communicate gratitude to volunteers, parents, and other staff members. 

You did not accomplish the event on your own. The best work we do involves teams of people working together. I imagine you will want their help in the future. Take this opportunity to express gratitude and communicate how their work supported your church’s mission. Above all, help them see that they were part of something bigger than themselves.

You’ve done good work this summer. Let’s continue that work by doing post-event ministry well. Did I miss anything? What would you add to this conversation? Rooting for you!

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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Am I Doing This Right?

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There was a time when I wondered, “Am I doing ministry right?” This feeling went on for years.

Yes, I would feel good about events we were hosting, and sometimes I’d even feel good about a sermon, lesson, or small group. But, I still felt unsure whether I was doing ministry well.

Then one day, I learned something. I learned that there is a way to understand the impact we are making. There is a way to know if we are on the path to achieving our mission. Best yet, there is a way that I can help my volunteers feel successful in our ministry!

So what was it that I learned to help feel like we’re doing this right?

I learned to define the wins for the ministry I lead.

I learned how to communicate to my team, parents, students, supervisor, and other vital audiences exactly how to see the wins in our youth ministry. And once I did this, we began to become more focused and saw a dramatic difference in the engagement of our students.

If you’ve never defined achievable wins, here are a few tips on getting started.

First, think small. When we think about success, it can be easy to dream about lofty goals. We might want to say something like, a young person will feel called into ministry once a month. While this would be a beautiful outcome, it isn’t necessarily a win that will lead you to recognize each step to achieve that goal.

For instance, for a young person to feel called into vocational ministry, they likely first need to have a faith experience with Jesus. Additionally, they will need time to cultivate a prayer life, both speaking and listening. Also, how do they know what vocational ministry looks like? Have they have never been exposed to it through an internship, service, or learning opportunity?

By thinking small, you make it possible to design a roadmap toward the ultimate outcome you hope to achieve. So what would be an achievable win in this situation? One example might be, “A win is when a young person participates in our leadership learning summer group.”

Second, consider wins that volunteers can own. For instance, a win for a small group leader might be each time they call a parent to brag about that family’s young person. When small group leaders call parents with positive words of affirmation, it helps foster a positive relationship with the parents. 

These are just two ideas that go into creating wins for your ministry. If you want to feel good about the direction of your ministry and want volunteers to stay motivated, consider defining your wins. You might start to finally say, “Hey, I am doing this right!” What tips would you add to this list? We’re rooting for you, ya’ winners!

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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Creative Options For Continuing Education

Creative Options For Continuing Education
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If you’re one of the Youth, Children’s, or Family Ministers out there whose church provides funding for continuing education, you might think big conferences are the only way to use that money. Those events can be so fun, impactful, and energizing to your ministry! Often, however, you’ll also need travel funds, hotel reservations, ride-share costs, and more that makes attending seem out of reach.

Or, you might be someone whose ministry budget is too small for a big conference. So, you are looking for something that you can either encourage your church to pay for, or that you can invest in on your own. We’re here to help you with creative, relatively inexpensive options to make the most of your desire to grow in your skills and abilities by using whatever continuing education funds you have accessible to you.

Creative Continuing Education Option One

It’s not a fun topic – but do you know the signs and symptoms of child abuse and neglect? In many states, all persons who have responsibility for minors in a capacity like church or parachurch ministry have an ethical and legal obligation to report suspected abuse/neglect. Protecting the vulnerable people in our care is an essential part of ministry. 

Take a look at your state’s Department of Children and Families resources. In Florida, for example, anyone can access their course free of charge, at any time. The materials cover the signs of abuse, the ways to respond, and to whom we should report our suspicions. You can also gather resources to share with families to help prevent abuse in the first place. We should ensure that ministry programs will be the most obvious possible place for children and youth to find a safe haven should they be abused and/or neglected.

Continuing Education Option Two

Another skill set that we hope to never use, but is smart to have, is CPR and First Aid Training. Accidents and medical emergencies can happen anywhere, and ensuring you are prepared can make a huge difference in the outcome. 

You can search “CPR First Aid Training Near Me” and find an array of training options. The Red Cross typically holds classes often and works to make their training affordable. You’ll learn what items to have on hand for incidents, how to get help quickly, and how you can potentially save a life. Don’t forget Infant CPR certification for your nursery workers! 

Creative Continuing Education Option Three

Ever find yourself wondering just WHY the children and youth in your programs act the way they do? If you entered ministry directly or from another career field, you may be missing important pieces of the puzzle. Consider registering for a child psychology or human growth/development course. Taking courses like these, either at a local college or university, or online, can open a crucial window into the ways young people develop. Spending your continuing education funds on this option can also help you minister to the grown ups in the lives of your young people. It’s a fact that partnering with them will deepen the connections in your faith community. 

Creative Continuing Education Option Four

Are you feeling like you’re stuck in your leadership growth? Do you feel like you’re lacking confidence? Teaming up with a trusted mentor, such as a Youth Ministry Institute Coach, may be the spark that lifts you out of this spot. A coach encourages you to unlock more of your potential. One on one coaching provides connection with a minister who’s been at this stuff for a while. They understand your needs and concerns in a unique way. The best part of coaching is that it can last for as long as you need. Coaching is unlike a one-time conference, it’s a long-term commitment to your development as a Youth or Children’s Minister. 

You Are Worth The Investment

Whether your budget is large or small, you (and your team!) are worth the investment of continuing education. We hope these options open up access for you to pursue avenues to success as a Children’s, Youth, or Family Minister. 

Do you have other creative ways to spend those continuing education funds, or options for free/low cost ways to broaden the skills you bring to your ministry? Tell us in the comments below.

Maresi Brown is the Administrator, Registrar, & Interview Specialist for Youth Ministry Institute. She spent nearly 20 years in ministry to youg people and families at a United Methodist Church. Maresi is an avid knitter and resides in St. Petersburg, FL, with her husband, 3 kids, and 2 dogs.

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Oversharing In Ministry: The Shocking Truth – Are You Guilty?

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Matt, who had been serving as a summer youth ministry intern, was excited to share a devotion with his middle school group. It started strong, but as he began to share about a relationship that had ended just a few weeks earlier, he began crying. His cry was not just a little crying but a full-on sobbing type. The middle schoolers felt for him and even showed him great empathy. But the devotional stopped short of Scripture reading, prayer, or even understanding where God was in Matt’s story. 

It wasn’t bad that Matt shared a painful place in his life. The trouble was that he was still living this part of his story. Matt hadn’t reached a place where he could share coherently. Where God was moving in his life was missing in Matt’s story. 

Matt had fallen into the oversharing trap.

Do you know the balance between transparency and oversharing in ministry? Do you know why transparency matters? And have you seen the pitfalls of oversharing?

The Pitfalls of Oversharing In Ministry

At times oversharing can be driven by a desire for sympathy or attention. And the truth is, you may really need someone to empathize with you.

You may feel tired, overworked, or burdened as a leader, so we share our struggles to elicit sympathy. However, this oversharing is ultimately selfish and may not be conducive to building trust and credibility with the young people we serve. 

It is crucial to recognize when we need support. Having appropriate spaces, such as friends, counselors, mentors, or coaches, to share our challenges helps us be the healthiest versions of ourselves. And being healthy makes it possible for us to challenge unhealthy motives for sharing.

Age-Appropriate Sharing

Another aspect of oversharing in ministry is sharing without considering the developmental stages and needs of the young people we serve. It is essential to exercise caution and wisdom when deciding what aspects of our lives to share with young people.

Failing to recognize the appropriateness of our sharing can lead to upset parents and strained relationships. Had Matt gone into further details about his relationship, we may have gotten phone calls from angry youth group parents. Therefore, it is crucial to carefully evaluate our audience’s age and developmental stage before deciding what to share.

Sharing in Challenging Seasons

During times of personal crisis, we may feel compelled to share our experiences and struggles with young people. But you should ask yourself whether you can communicate coherently and have had adequate time to reflect on God’s movement in those spaces. 

Sharing with young people may not achieve the desired outcome when we are still in a painful situation. While it can elicit sympathy and build relationships, it may not be healthy for the spiritual development of young individuals. In such situations, seeking support and leaning on others while being cautious about oversharing is essential.

The Power of Authenticity and Transparency

Finding the balance of transparency and sharing the right amount can deepen our ministry relationships. It invites others into the story God is writing in our lives. Transparency helps build trust with those we serve, which is vital in guiding young people in their faith journey. Authenticity involves being brave enough to be ourselves and genuine enough to live according to our values.

As youth and children’s ministers, we should share appropriate aspects of our lives with our communities. Volunteers need to see that our families are real and our homes are not always perfect. Young people need to hear about our moments of doubt and struggle with our faith. Those in our ministry should witness the highs and lows of our lives, as this cultivates trust and relatability. At the same time, we need to be sure to share appropriately.

Transparency and authenticity are powerful tools that help guide and inspire others on their faith journey. So how do you use them well? In what ways do you avoid the pitfall of oversharing in ministry?

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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Maximizing Summer Ministry: Rest or Ramp Up?

beach supplies on a summer day.
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Many of us will wrap up our school year within the next few weeks. I have always appreciated the transition into summer ministry because it brings a different pace. The opportunities we have in the summer create a rhythm that is unattainable during the school year.

Over my time in ministry, I have approached the summer with two entirely different philosophies. Philosophy one is drastically less programming and more avenues for relational connections with young people and their families. Philosophy two increases opportunities for young people to engage in ministry programming.

Two Philosophies For Summer Ministry

Less Activity, Big Impact

Philosophy one began from a place of needing rest. The truth is that we ask a lot of our volunteers. Volunteers likely have full-time jobs, families, and many other responsibilities that demand their attention and time. And let’s be honest, volunteering every week for an entire school year is a lot to ask of them. In the context of a small ministry, when your volunteers are one of your greatest assets, reducing your programming during the summer may be one of the best moves you can make. 

Here are a few ideas for you if this is your philosophy:

Give volunteers the summer off. Let them know they are invited, but your top priority is that they are ready and energized for the fall.

Schedule easy options that encourage relationship-building among young people. These can look like you and another adult meeting young people at Chick-fil-a for lunch, followed by a movie or putt-putt.

Use your downtime to work on the stuff many of us hate, administration. During this season, you can re-work your student leadership applications, policies, handbooks, communication strategies, and more. You likely have more breathing room than you do in October. So use that time to make your life easier later.

Rest, rest, rest. Let me say that again, find ways to rest. Summer can create an excellent space for us to find physical, emotional, and spiritual rest. 

Greater Activity, Big Impact

Philosophy two arose from a growing ministry I saw as having expanded opportunities. We experienced great success in the school year, and the team felt energized to keep moving forward. The tension was this, my team and I still needed rest. So how do I help the team feel a positive movement forward, capitalizing on the trend we are experiencing, while also making space for rest? Within these tensions, I developed a plan to alleviate some work from myself and the volunteers.

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Here are a few examples of what this philosophy looked like in the ministry I served: 

Create multiple low-risk, low-cost, and high-potential gatherings. These gatherings were highly focused on our missional purpose. One example would be opportunities to serve within the local community for a day, afternoon, or even a few hours.

Integrate leadership development for the next school year into your activities. For us, this meant creating Leadership Labs designed to give students basic leadership fundamentals and expose them to what it looks like to serve in student leadership.

Develop an internship program. The intern does not mean free labor. A good internship should provide housing, pay, and professional growth opportunities. We required reading and reflection. It also meant that I allowed interns to own pieces of the program. The ownership gave them space to grow and learn while also allowing me to focus my attention elsewhere.

Finally, rest was still essential, but it looked different. In my first philosophy, I rested throughout the summer. In this philosophy, rest was scheduled for the final weeks of summer before the school year began. We would have zero programming for the last two weeks of summer.

Now, these are only two possible philosophies for your time this summer. There are other options and many more variations. The key is understanding what your volunteers need, what you need, and what will help the ministry you serve the most next school year. Learn to balance these three things in a healthy way, and you’ll reap significant benefits.

So how will you spend your summer? What will the youth or children’s ministry you serve look like in the coming weeks?

Rev. Brian Lawson is the Director of Leadership Development and Client Services for YMI and has served in youth ministry since 2004. He also serves as a pastor in the Florida Conference of the UMC. Brian holds a Master of Ministry with a focus in organizational culture, team-based leadership, change, conflict, and peacemaking from Warner University. In addition to his degrees from Warner, he studied Christian Education at Asbury Theological Seminary. Click the social links below to engage with Brian.

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Mistakes We Make With Student Leaders

Mistakes We Make With Student Leaders
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How often do we overlook the potential of young people?

Do you know what I mean?

It can be easy to choose the loudest, most popular, or even the ones with the most biblical responses in small group. Yet, if we make this mistake and only go with these types of young people as student leaders, you may miss out on some of the most gifted young people in your ministry.

After over 35 years in ministry, I am currently a volunteer youth minister for a new church start. We have existed for under two years, have around 12 youth, and had our second retreat recently. Three students, two eighth graders, and one seventh grader led the entire programming for the retreat. Did the retreat they led go perfectly? Let’s just say that I’ve learned that perfect is a matter of heart.

I have to ask myself, am I willing to equip them to lead their way or am I so prideful that I believe there is only my way?

Are you making these mistakes when seeing potential in student leaders?

Mistake We Make #1: Only seeing the obvious ones.

One of the three students in my leadership team, an eighth grader, is an apparent leader. She is the pastor’s daughter and responds readily during Bible study. She is insightful, volunteers to read Scripture, and shares her ideas and dreams for the ministry with me. Many of us would choose her right away to serve as a leader in ministry.

You may have these types of people in your ministry. In fact, you’ve probably already had a few names and faces come to mind.

Mistake We Make #2: Overlooking the not-so-obvious ones.

Thinking about my team, the other two students could easily have been overlooked as unlikely leaders. They tend to be quiet, shy in new situations, and do not volunteer unless called upon. Often these two will sit in the corner so they will not be misconstrued as needing attention. They might be called introverts. What if we make mistakes and don’t see these types of teens as student leaders?

I could have easily overlooked these two. But the Spirit urged me to invite them to lead. God pointed out to me in each of these three youth an ability, a willingness, and a commitment to lead. The truth is that the obvious and the not-so-obvious ones can and should lead.

Mistake We Make #3: Holding onto control.

Going into this, did I have doubts? Of course!

It is never easy to hand over control. But before this retreat, I spent time teaching and training them. And through this, these three students have inspired the new sixth graders. We already have sixth graders making statements like, “when I lead next year.”

Having young people as leaders in your youth or children’s ministry means we must first be willing to look at the obvious and the not-as-obvious young people. Who is the person or people that you may be overlooking?

In the meantime, pray for your future student leaders’ connection to the Spirit. Pray that the Lord will use you and your team to equip and support them. Pray that the Holy Spirit will help you to trust God!

Kathy Rexroad is the Core Competencies Assessment Manager and Content Specialist as well as a coach for the Youth Ministry Institute. She obtained a Bachelor of Science degree in nursing in 1975 from West Virginia University. While serving as volunteer nursery coordinator at an Orlando area church, Kathy felt God’s call into a life of ministry. While serving for over 25 years at that church, she “grew up” with the children she served and became their youth minister. In December 2010, Kathy retired from paid local church ministry, and resides in Georgia where she can enjoy her 4 grandchildren. 

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Why You Can’t Reach Parents

Why Can't You Reach Parents
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What would our ministry look like if we could truly partner with parents in the way that we would like? What would it look like to truly reach parents?

There are a lot of different pieces to the puzzle that is youth ministry, but the parent piece is one that is both confusing and frustrating to a lot of us. How do we get parents to fit into our ministry like we want them to? 

Some of us might settle for figuring out how to get parents to open our emails. While that would be a good start, we can do better. We have to change how we think about and view parents. 

Here are a few reasons why you may not be able to reach parents through your ministry right now. 

You only want parents to serve your ministry.

Youth pastors love the phrase “partnering with parents.” But what do we mean when we say that? If we were to really get into specifics, it would mostly include things like getting parents to chaperone events, financially support the youth ministry or just bring their kids to youth group more than once a month. 

And, I get it. You need parents to support your ministry. But parents are never going to have sustained enthusiasm about your ministry if you are only concerned with ways that they can help you pull off your next event. Giving parents opportunities to serve your ministry is not going to be enough to reach them. 

You’ve only built half of a bridge. 

When you started serving in youth ministry, your thought may have been that if you build a bridge half-way to the parents, they would build the other half. Then you would have this beautiful, thriving ministry relationship, and all your problems would be solved. That is reasonable, right? Halfway is pretty good. 

Parents are generally drowning in student homework, soccer practice, errands, their careers, birthday parties, and laundry. They honestly do not have time or the emotional energy to build the other half of your bridge. It’s not because they are not interested in supporting your ministry. Most of them are just too busy and tired. 

If you want your ministry to reach parents, you are going to have to build the entire bridge. I know that sounds difficult and maybe even a bit unfair, but doing everything you can on your end is going to free parents up to devote themselves to be the parent. 

Parents don’t know they need you yet. 

Parents may not always see the value in what you do in your ministry. But, if their teen is going through something really tough and will not talk to them about it, they will be very grateful that you are in their teenager’s life. In a time of crisis, parents tend to naturally move toward other adults who love their children. 

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If you have been consistently making the effort to invest in their family, not just their teen, then it is going to be a lot easier for parents to trust you. And since you have built the whole bridge between your ministry and their family, not just half of it, they can get to you quickly and easily. You may not feel like the things you are doing right now are having an impact. But, you are building a relationship that parents will need when the time comes. 

So how do you reach parents? 

Here are a few practical ways to reach out to parents: 

Moments

When a student does something her parent would be proud of, send a short text or email to the parent and let them know. Or, here’s another one:  The next time you think to yourself, “____________ is amazing. I love the way she ____________”, ask yourself if you have ever told her parents. Parents are constantly struggling with their teenagers at home. It goes a long way when another adult lets them know they have a great kid and they are a good parent. 

Milestones

Any time there is something significant going on in the life of a student, it is probably impacting the parents. So reach out to parents in times like the beginning of the school year, during testing, enrolling in a new school, during a big sports tournament, after a big performance in some extra-curricular activity, etc. Just a short email or text to let them know you saw that awesome performance or are praying for their new season can go a long way. 

Matchmaker

You cannot give parents all the answers to their teens’ problems. But there is probably another parent in your church who has previously dealt with the situation. Do what you can to connect them to each other. They will minister to one another and it will require very little time from you. 

Resources

Spend some time finding good resources to help parents raise a middle or high school student. Whenever you find articles, books, speakers, share them with parents. 

Service Opportunities

Create ways for students and parents to serve together inside and outside of your church. This gives them opportunities to have conversations about spiritual things. They also observe active faith in one another. 

Scheduling

Before you do your schedule of events, think through how it would impact the typical family in your church. Bring to mind things like frequency, length, cost, time of day/week, etc. All of these things will impact the schedules of families in your church. 

As you move forward in ministry, keep in mind: parents are not your enemy. They are by far the biggest influencer in the lives of the students that you nurture and about whom you care. Love parents well. Because when parents win, everyone wins.

Skylar Jones serves as Youth and Family Minister at St. Barnabas Episcopal Church in DeLand, FL. He has worked in many different capacities since he began serving the church nearly 20 years ago. Skylar is married and has a son. He met his wife at Berry College, in Rome, GA, where he graduated with a bachelor’s degree in English. He enjoys sports, music, long walks on the beach, and anything made by Reese’s. Click the social links below to engage with Skylar.

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